All the questions in my head
by pheebster1405
Summary: Penny has a secret and many questions in her head. My first fan fic. NEXT CHAPTER UP! R
1. Chapter 1

What do I do? It's bad enough knowing that mum hates me being with Seaweed, but what will she say when I tell her? I can't get rid of it, not that I'd want to even it was legal and easy. The worst that she can do is disown me or make me give it up. Yes I love her, you know she gave me life but if I'm being pretty honest, I'd prefer the former option.

What will everyone else say? Will they judge me for getting involved with a 'negro'? God I hate even saying that word now. Will I get judged for being an unwed mother? Will Seaweed stick by me? By us? Yes He says that he loves me even though our love is taboo but will he be willing to stand by me while I go through this life changing process in my life.

Even if everything turns out to be ok, what will the other kids say when he or she is older? What if segregation is still in place by the time he or she is old enough to go to school? Where will they fit in society?

All these questions that I have in my head, I can't help but wonder. What lies in store for me and my baby? No matter what the answers are, I will love him or her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two.

A/N: I'm so sorry about the wait!! I've had writers block plus I've been busy with to Penny for giving me a little inspiration.:D. Hope this was worth the wait.

8 weeks

I've decided that I'm going to hide it from my mum…well for as long as I possibly can anyway. I mean it's not like I'm going to show until 5 months.

I told Tracy the other day. I can talk to her about anything, we've been best friends since we were 5 and we've been through so much together. When I went round to see her, I was so nervous, I just blurted it out when we were in her bedroom. I mean, how do you tell your best friend that. Yes I have told her everything before but how do you expect her to react to something as huge as a baby? At first she was shocked, but she's going to be there for me all the way.

12 weeks

I'm finding it harder everyday to keep this from my mum, I'm sure she suspects something. I'm constantly in the bathroom with morning sickness, I don't know how much longer I can keep this from her. The longer I can keep this a secret, the longer me and Seaweed have to save to find our own place. When I told him, he was really shocked but he's vowed to stick by the two of us. I'm dreading when the time comes to tell our mums. I'm sure Maybelle will be ok with it, she was a young mother herself and she's completely accepted me and Seaweed. His entire family has.

I keep thinking about what's going to happen when it comes out in public. Everyday, relationships become racially integrated more now because it's becoming more acceptable. But what will people think about black and white starting a family? I've only just found the confidence in me to be who I want to be, I don't want that to be knocked because of people having their judgements. I don't want my child growing up being ashamed of their colour.

16 weeks

I'm so scared now. My doctor says that my baby is bigger than what it should be but seems healthy. I'm going back to see her next week for a check-up to see if it's still growing at the rate it is. I'm glad that my baby is growing well but I'm scared as I go further along. I can't keep wearing layers to hide it from my mother, for Christ's sake it's the middle of summer, as everyone keeps pointing out. It doesn't help that I'm extra hormonal either, otherwise she's going to find out sooner. I will tell her.

17 weeks

Ok I know it's unlike me to write in my journal in between my months of pregnancy but I just thought I'd add now that I went to the doctor's yesterday and well, the reason why my bump is larger than what it should be is because I'm expecting twins. Oh my god!! How are we going to cope?! And more importantly how the bloody hell am I going to tell mum?! As if it isn't hard enough to tell her about one baby let alone two! Seaweed and Tracy have suggested sitting down and just telling her but I'm so nervous and worried, just terrified of telling her face to face, I might just leave this journal about for her to read. 'Don't be mad Pen!! That will just make it worse', 'She might be ok with it eventually, just upset that you didn't tell her in the first place'. I'm thinking ' Are you out of your mind?! Have you never met her?' I mean Seaweed saw what she was like when he came to rescue me from the house, She's not mentally stable and this will just make her loads worse.

Am I making this worse by not telling her?


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Yes I'm spoiling you guys, two updates in one day to make up for the wait!! This chapter is Seaweed's point of view

I was worried about Penny. She had been acting odd for the last few weeks. At first I wondered if I'd done something to upset her, which has never happened before, but she said everything was fine. I asked Tracy if she knew what was up with Penny and she also said no, but I could tell something wasn't right. Concerned I asked Penny to meet me outside the station after the show.

'Penny, are you ok?'

'I'm fine, I've told you already.'

'Please, Penny, you're not yourself. You're hiding something from me. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can work it out. Just tell me.'

'Seaweed, I can't! It's too complicated, I still haven't got my head around it myself!'

'Get your head around what? Are you sick? Have you found someone else?'

'No, Seaweed, I'm pregnant.'

That last bit I wasn't expecting. I was expecting her to say that she met a nice white guy that she wanted to be with or that she was really sick.

'Seaweed? Did you hear me?'

'uh, sorry - you're pregnant?!'

'Yes Seaweed and I've known for about a month now. I'm still trying to get my head around it. I mean you and me, a baby!! As if my mother doesn't hate us being together as it is! She's going to flip when I tell her!'

'Woah! You knew for a month and you didn't tell me?'

I couldn't believe it, she knew and she didn't tell me. But then I started to look at it from her point of view. We were still only 18. Still in High School and in the height of segregation. Of course she was right to keep it a secret.

'I know and I'm so sorry, I just needed time to figure out how I feel before I told you. I've decided that I'm going to raise this baby and if you don't want to be a part of this baby' life then that's-'

I cut her off with a kiss. How can I turn my back on the girl that I love, the mother of my unborn child? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did.

'Penny, you don't need to worry about a thing. I'll be there for the both of you. We'll go through this together. When are you going to tell your mum?'

'I don't know. I figured it would be easier to tell her when I'm showing a bit more. It's not like I'm going to be showing properly for another 2 months. That way she cant make me do anything that I don't want to do. But what are we going to do? Are we going to get our own place, married? We need to think about this.'

'We can find a way of getting our place, I can do odd bits around the neighbourhood for money. If we could get married, I'd marry you tomorrow but we can't. You'd be even more of an outcast than ever.'

Penny embraced me and then pulled me close to her and whispered in my ear, 'We're going to be ok, aren't we?' I looked back at her and whispered back, ' I hope so.'


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I've decided to do a couple of chapters from other people's points of view of the pregnancy. Next chapter should be Tracy's and then I'll be back on to Penny. _

I'm really concerned about Penny. She hasn't been herself in a while, constant bathroom visits and even wearing layers in this heat. She reminds me of myself when I was trying to hide my pregnancy…she couldn't be could she? She knows how I feel about her and that coloured boyfriend of hers. What kind of future could she possibly have with that boy and any children she may have? She may only see me as being interfering but I only want what's best for her. She has so much potential and she can't throw it all away for him.

_A couple of hours later_

Oh my goodness, this can't be happening. I can't believe she hasn't been able to tell me to my face. I can't believe that she was stupid enough to leave her diary lying around, especially as she knows that I go into her room with laundry. Nearly 5 months pregnant at the age of only 18 with twins. My baby's future gone in a blink. I can't believe that she thinks I'm mentally unstable and the fact that she was able to turn to Tracy and _his _mother before me. Oh here she comes! How do I tell her that I know?

'Hi mom! I'm home!!'

'How was your day? Anything interesting happen today?'

' No not really, school was the same as usual, you know mom, same thing different day.'

' Really? Anything you want to tell me?' I still had her diary in my hand.

'No mom, why would you ask me -' she saw the diary in my shaking hand.

' Please tell me you didn't read it! Please tell me!'

'Penny why didn't you tell me?! I'm your mother and you couldn't tell me that you're expecting that coloured boy's children! I'm so disappointed in you!!'

'I couldn't tell you because I knew how you would react. I just wanted more time to figure out how to tell you without you flipping out! I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, but I just wanted to enjoy as much of this pregnancy without the looks of judgement.'

'Well there's nothing that I can do about it now but I don't want you to see that boy again. I mean it Penny Lou Pingleton! it's for your own good!'

'Ma, you can ask me to do anything, but that's the one thing that you can't expect me to do! I love him and I'm seeing him whether you like it or not!!' and with that she stormed out of the door, leaving me alone.

What more can I do? I only want what's best for her, I just hope that one day when her children are older, she will understand.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- this chapter is based on my own personal experience from when i found out that my best mate was expecting her little girl. That was 2 years ago and still clear in my mind as if it were yesterday. Please Read and Review, it gives me joy to see that people actually like my writing considering that this originally was only going to be a one off. Next chapter will be back at Penny.

I still can't believe it. She told me about the pregnancy 8 weeks ago and it still hasn't sunk in. My best friend, expecting a baby. Although I couldn't imagine anyone being as good of a mother that I knew she would be. I'll always remember the day that she told me that she was expecting.

She came over to my house after school one day and I had noticed that she hadn't been herself. Extra emotional than usual. I wondered if she and her mother had another argument about her dating Seaweed.

'Penny, what's the matter? You haven't been yourself lately.'

'Nothing's wrong, why would you think that?'

'Penny, I've known you since we were five. I know when something is up. Have you and your mum had another argument?'

'No, everything's fine.'

'Penny, please. I'm your friend, you can tell me.'

She seemed reluctant to tell me the truth.

'Ok I will tell you, but I need you to promise that what I'm going to tell you now, doesn't get back to my mother, alright Trace? I'm just not sure if I'm ready to tell her yet.'

'I promise, you can trust me hun. What is it?'

'I'm pregnant.'

I stood there in shock. Penny, pregnant? Had I heard correctly?

'I'm sorry, you're what?'

'I'm pregnant, about 8 weeks gone and you're the first person that I have told. I'm still trying to figure out how to tell Seaweed.'

'Wait, you haven't told him yet? But he's the baby's dad!'

'I know that he needs to know, but come on Trace, look at how long it took for TV in Baltimore to integrate. What are people going to say when it gets out? I just need more time to get used to it in my head. I need you to be there for me please. You're the only one who knows.'

I gave her a reassuring hug and promised that I'd be there for her all the way. Later on I got thinking about me and Link. We'd been together just over 2 years and we hadn't discussed anything about the future. Would there be kids in our future? And more importantly, would it be in a more accepting society that what the four of us are living in now?

I decided to not worry about that for now and to enjoy us as we were now. Because right now, my friend needed me to be there for her now more than ever. And that was exactly what I was going to do.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N:I'm so sorry about the long wait. I've been crazy busy with work and also I wanted to wait untill i saw the show on the London west end so that i could try and figure out my characters. I will be changing the chapters a little bit because I fell in love with Penny, Prudy and Seaweed on stage so I will be tweaking it in the next couple of weeks. Please Read and Review xx

Week 25

Ok, so here's the situation at the moment. Mum found out like 2 weeks ago about the pregnancy and flipped out. She was worried about what the neighbours would think about me being pregnant at my age with the children of a black boy who I couldn't wed because of the segregation in Baltimore. She was certainly mad and hurt that I was able to tell Maybelle and Tracy before her and gave me a ultimatum. I could either go away, have the twins and give them up for adoption or find somewhere else to live when they were born. I certainly couldn't find it in my heart to give them up and let them grow up not knowing who their real parents are and thinking that we didn't care. I couldn't let my mother even think about making me do that so at the moment I'm still living at home whilst me and Seaweed look for somewhere for us to go when they are born.

I just wish that Mum could find it in her heart somewhere to be happy for me. At least Seaweed is willing to commit to me and isn't running away from his responsibilities. Surely that's enough for her to see that we are sticking together?

I'm glad that I don't have to worry about hiding it anymore because now I'm able to just enjoy being pregnant like a normal person. The babies are constantly moving about and kicking each other. I just can't wait to meet them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Week 35**

So It's getting closer to the due date, and seeing as it's twins, they could come at anytime now. Mom's still fuming at my decision to keep them and will find any excuse to start a row up and I'm hating it. Everyone is getting stressed out about it and it's certainly not doing me any good. I don't need this right now and I know that Mom doesn't need it either.

**Five days later**

I'm so scared at the moment. I woke up at 6 this morning to find that my waters have broken and all last night I was having twinges. Mom's gone away for a long

weekend and I'm in the house alone. I'm just hoping and praying that Tracy or Seaweed comes to the house because I honestly don't think I can go through this on my own. If only Mom would consider getting a phone, then I could at least get hold of Tracy. Please Someone come soon! I'm sure Someone will be around soon seeing as I'm meant to be at school right now and they're bound to notice that I'm not in. Even if it's at Lunchtime, please someone come soon!

**Tracy's POV**

I'm really worried about Penny. She should have called round for me before school like she normally does. If her mom was home, I would think that she was being grounded or something but I know her mom's out of town for a long weekend. It's not like to not turn up at all unless… I'm sure it's nothing but I'll pop around about lunch with Seaweed and Link just in case.

**2 hours later**

'Penny? Are you there? It's me!'

All I can hear is Penny screaming. Oh my god, it cant be! Next thing I know is Seaweed and Link are bashing in the front door to find Penny in labour on the living room floor. I rush by her head to reassure that she'll be ok with Seaweed by my side holding her hand.

'Penny, Honey, It's going to be ok, I promise, I'll just run and get my mom over here!'

'No Tracy, please don't leave me! I cant do this on my own - I can't! I can't! I need you here with me!'

'Baby, I'm here and so is Link, you won't be on your own, I'm sure Mrs Turnblad will be able to get a ambulance here quick enough. Let Tracy go and get her.'

'No Seaweed! I need Tracy here, get Link to go! Please!!!'

I gave Link the go ahead to go and get my mom and as he left, Penny gave another horrific scream.

'It's coming, it's too late it's coming!'

**Seaweed's POV**

At those words, I'm in shock, My kids aren't going to wait any longer to make their entrance. As quick as I can, I move round to see a head coming out.

'Penny, Baby, I can see a head! Next contraction, push as hard as you can for me!'

At those words, she's pushing, Our eldest child entering the world letting out a cry.

Words can't describe how I feel as I pass our little girl over to Penny. I'm filled with emotion seeing my beautiful girlfriend with Our daughter, before I'm reminded that it's not over yet. Tracy takes my little girl from Penny and holds her hand ready for the next baby to arrive. Just in time Link and Mrs Turnblad arrive with the paramedics, who take over from me so that I can support Penny whilst Tracy is busy cooing over our eldest.

**Penny's POV**

'Seaweed I can't do this anymore! I can't! you do it for me! '

'Penny, sweetie, your almost there! One's out, you just gotta get this one out! You can do it!'

Oh god this one kills!!! Squeezing his hand as tight as I possibly could, I'm pushing with all the strength I possibly can, feeling the head leaving my body. One more push and they are both here! With the next one I'm pushing until I can't anymore feeling my baby leaving me. The next thing I can hear is both of my children, barely hearing the paramedics saying that they were going to get me and the children to the hospital. Both of my daughters are placed on my chest and all I can feel is a mixture of emotions. Proud and delighted that I have two gorgeous daughters who are showing tints of dark skin already, both with their daddy's eyes. The rest of me is wishing that my mum could find it in her heart to accept them. As me, Seaweed and our children are being taken to the hospital, I ask Mrs Turnblad to let my mother know when she comes back what has happened. I just hope that Mom can find it in her heart to come and visit us at the hospital.

**A/N: so sorry for the long wait, just been really busy with work and also have had major writers block. After this chapter I think there may well be two more to come. I will try not to keep you waiting so long next time. Read and Review. I haven't decided on names for the twins yet, but i'm very open to suggestions.**


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: HUGE APOPLOGIES for taking so long to update, I kinda forgot I had this story up, plus I didn't know where to go from the end of the last chapter and loads of stuff going on here at home so to make up for my lack of updating, I will have the epilogue up by Sunday.

Anyway here is the last proper chapter to carry you on till Sunday x

Penny's POV

It's been 2 months since me and Seaweed came home with the girls. And it's been the hardest couple of months that we have ever had.

You see, Mrs Turnblad stayed at my house whilst me and Seaweed went to the hospital, waiting for Mom to make contact. Anyway a couple of hours later , the phone rang (it's still sinking in), and it was a police officer asking to speak to me. He came to the hospital with Mrs Turnblad to inform me that Mom had been in a drink - driving accident, her injuries being so bad, she didn't make it.

I knew she was finding it hard to come to terms with me and Seaweed. I just didn't think that something was going to stop her from meeting her grand-daughters. Verity was the first born and totally takes after my side of the family, and has her Daddy wrapped right round her finger. When I look into her eyes, I automatically think of Mom. Inez, named after her aunt, takes after Seaweed's side of the family. She's a complete attention seeker, she doesn't like it when Verity gets all the attention.

As they get older, I will tell them all about their Grandma Pingleton. I'm sure that if she was alive now, she would love them. I just wish she had the chance to meet them x


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